Today, at PWOC, Protestant Women of the Chapel, I was given the privilege and honor to give a short devotion on adoption. Several people asked me if I would share my story in written form, so I directed them here to my blog. There are so many other miracles that occurred during our adoption process that I simply had to leave out in the interest of time. So many miracles have occurred since we have brought Addilyn home. The biggest miracle we see on a daily basis is the love God has for each one of us. That love is our most valued treasure, our biggest gift. The least we can do, is share it with others!
(Note: the format here is my "talking" format. Also, there is a link to a video we put together for Addilyn's Dedication Ceremony that was held 2 months after she came home. I think you have to copy and paste it in your browser.
It still brings tears to my eyes every time I watch the miracle unfold! Praise be to God that He allows me to take part in miracles!!)
The last time I spoke to PWOC, I shared my testimony of my husband being deployed, my house burning down and losing 90% of all of our possessions, and me, with God’s help reconstructing our home and our lives. At the end of my testimony, I eluded to another event that God brought our way soon after our lives were reconstructed. It is this testimony that I wish to share with you today. I shared with you last time that my life verse during the time of the fire became Isaiah 43 verses 1-4 with a specific emphasis on verse 2 which states, “When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” It’s funny because I had stopped reading at the end of verse 4 during that crisis in my life. Little did I know that had I just kept reading, I might have clued in on what God was about to do in my life. Verse 5 reads “Do not be afraid, for I am with you. I will bring your children from the east and I will gather you from the west. I will bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth.“
Soon after we had moved back into our home, God started working on our family once again. And this time, it was in a way none of us had imagined. It was the fall of 2006 and a very dear friend, Mary, brought home her daughter…her 6 year old daughter, from China. We supported her family prayerfully and through a small financial donation. I followed her blog while she was in China and met her several times for dinner when she arrived home. I was intrigued by her love for this little girl that she pledged to be a momma to, especially when she had missed the first 6 years of her life.
Prior to this point our family had always supported adoption through prayer and small financial donations. God had strategically placed us in circles where we had seen 4 little girls come home to families. But we had always thought our role was to be supportive and encouraging. Until….
Early in January 2007, Mary sent me an email that had a link to children who were waiting for their forever families. Her email said simply, “check out this little guy’s name….poor kid” I clicked the link and there stood a little boy with the name “Dang You Man,”(do you get it? Dang you, man), I chuckled, but then noticed on the right side of the link a column of about 20 names of children who needed forever families. Randomly (in my eyes), I clicked on a link and there stood the most beautiful, sassy, pig-tailed cutie I had ever seen. I instantly, instantly thought, “Oh my, I think you are my daughter!!” And then I shouted out “DANG YOU MAN!!!”
I ran off a picture of the pig-tailed cutie whose name was Chang Wen Zhi and placed it on our desk. My husband came home later and took the picture and said, “Who is that cute little pickle?” I burst into tears and said, “I think she is our daughter!” To which he said, “You’ve been talking to Mary haven’t you?!” He was definitely NOT on board. He was not hearing anything (or so I thought) about adding a little girl to our family.
About 3 weeks went by and out of the blue, my husband asks me if I ever did anything with “cute little pickle’s” file. I replied, no and he said, “Call the agency and ask for her file.” I was floored. Little did I know that the LORD had been working on him all the while I had been thinking and praying for this little girl because I could not get her out of my mind!! I called the agency and was placed on a waiting list to view her file. We were informed that we were number 4 on the list and if we had the chance to look at her file, it would be in about 4 weeks. I called my husband and said, “It will be a miracle if we get to see her file.” How I forget that God is in the business of doing miracles!! Two days later, after a series of unbelievable turn of events, we were able to view her file and the agency let us know that we had 3 days to make a decision or then her file would go back to China. As a family of three, David, Ashlyn who was 12 at the time, and myself prayed. We had her file reviewed by a doctor, prayed some more, ran figures for finances, prayed with our pastor, thought about age differences and only children and siblings and college tuition and weddings, and prayed some more. On the final day before we had to call the agency with an answer, my husband came home with a migraine. He took one look at me and said, “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I need to go lay down. Please don’t bother me!” He went into the bedroom for 3 long hours. When he emerged, he had a grin on his face stating, “I have an answer!” He then told me about how he had not slept at all, but had been wrestling with God. And for every question he posed to God, God would simply answer him with one word…”Selfish” “How am I going to provide for her?” “Selfish.” “What if she doesn’t fit into our family?” "Selfish.” “What if she doesn’t like to sleep in on Saturdays?” “Selfish” “What if I’m not a good 2-daughter dad?” "Selfish." And finally, my husband says that he asked God one final question, “Why should I do this?”
He heard God say in his spirit, "Why WON'T you do this?”
My husband says, he humbly, lowered himself in obedience to God and said, “Okay, God. I’m sorry. I submit.” He describes his next moments as the best headache relief he has ever experienced…He said he felt God breathe over him and the headache lifted.
Ten months later, after stacks of paperwork, blood work, shots, background checks, and uncovering every piece of information about ourselves and turning that all over to the American Government and the Chinese Government, we were on our way to China. On our way to bring home Addilyn Grace WenZhi Koonce, an almost 7 year old spunky-monkey, spicy Hunan girl that gives us a run for our money. “Addi” as we call her for short, exudes joy from every pore of her little body and she demands it from every moment that she lives. She sees life and extracts everything possible from it, sometimes to the point of exasperation of those around her. We have never laughed so much in our entire lives. She is witty and inquisitive. She is "scary smart" as her Grande' calls her and she always has her nose in a book. She can be sweet as honey one minute and madder than a hornet the next, and you are never quite sure what makes her turn on that dime of emotion. We are quite sure that she will be a Supreme Court Justice because her skill in closing arguments continues to exhaust and astound us. However, above all, she completes our family.
So why am I telling you this story? Is it because I want all of you to adopt children? No…far from it. Adoption is not about cute, little pigtailed girls who steal your heart in the blink of an email letter. Adoption is not the current trend to save the world or rescue a child to a “better life.” Adoption is not about collecting children. Adoption is not for you to look at me and say “Oh, how cute” or “Do you realize you’re going to have Chinese grandchildren?” or “She doesn’t look a thing like you.” (To which I will probably reply, “No, she looks like her father!”) Adoption is not any of these things.
But what is adoption? Adoption is about parenting and loving for a lifetime, not just the process of getting a child. Adoption is hard work. Adoption may or may not come with diaper bags, but it always come with baggage. Adoption is looking at a child and admitting that although you did not birth this being in your womb, you have birthed a love in your heart that is unexplainable. Adoption is hearing, "YOU are NOT my mommy!" being yelled at you in Mandarin, but you pulling in that sweet face and healing the hurt one hug, one tear, at a time. Adoption is a lifelong commitment. Above all, adoption is purely and quite simply,
God’s most vivid illustration and beautiful example of His love for each of us this side of heaven. And ultimately, adoption is about obedience.
Thirty-nine times in the Bible we are called to care for the fatherless, the orphan, and the widow. Six times adoption is mentioned in the Bible. All six of those times, God refers to US as the ones who are orphaned and in need of adoption. Some of you might ask, how is that so? Quite simply put, our sin strips us from the Father’s love. We are cast away from the Glory of the Lord, unable to receive the inheritance of God. But through our faith in Jesus Christ, by asking God’s Son to take away our sin and be the Lord of our life, we are adopted into the family. Through our faith in Jesus, through this adoption, we become His children who are chosen, holy, and dearly loved, and we receive the full riches of God. It is through Jesus that we are adopted into the family. It is through Jesus we experience the love of God. It is through Jesus that we are able to face our crisis, calling out to God and allowing Him to carry us in the midst of our trial, and allowing Him to tenderly love us and heal us, one hug and one tear, at a time. Adoption is the picture of obedience, the strong-willed child being disciplined as Father knows best and loving that child in the best and worst of times. Adoption is falling under authority for the sake of gaining ALL, love and life. Adoption lasts a lifetime.
Adoption is the parenting style God specializes in!!
I am not saying that physical adoption of children, this side of heaven is for everyone. In fact I am telling you, it’s not for everyone. However, we are called to care for the orphan and pray for the fatherless. I would encourage you to do this. There are 143 million orphans worldwide. Adoption may not be the answer for you, however you can pray. You can pray for an orphan, you can pray for the forever families that wait for their children, you can be aware that there are orphans all over the world, even right here in America. Pray for them. Pray that they may be adopted into the family of God.
We have been asked MANY times about our decision to adopt Addi.
"What were you THINKING?"
is a question we get asked frequently and quite frankly, we have even asked it of ourselves in moments of frustration. God in his Infinite Wisdom one day gave David the perfect answer to that question. It is simply this,
"We were NOT thinking. We were OBEYING!!"
I wonder sometimes if God does not ask Himself the same question when He looks at us. Do you think He looks at Jesus and the Spirit and says,
"What were WE thinking?"
Do you think He looks at Jesus, knowing the price He paid and asks of us, "WHAT are YOU thinking?"
I think not. God's ways are Higher.
So, how about you? Where is your obedience to God? I have a simple question for you…are you an orphan to God? If so, step out in faith. Be obedient. Don’t be like my husband asking the Lord “Why should I do this?” Instead, listen as God presents His love to you and says to you,
“My child, why WON'T you do this? Let me be your Father.
Let me adopt you as my daughter for I am the King and my riches are yours!
Let ME be your Forever Family!”
It is stated in Ephesians 1:3-7 “3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us …For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5 he[c] predestined us to be adopted as his sons AND DAUGHTERS through Jesus Christ… 7 In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.” David, Ashlyn, and I have been fortunate to be THE ONE Forever Family for Addilyn now for 4 and ½ years. Through our experience we have truly been challenged and blessed by God. Through adopting Addi, through the love we have for her, through the love she has given to us, we have all learned a most important lesson. God has shown us through this earthly adoption of Addilyn that He has given us a perfect example of His plan for us all to be adopted into His Forever Family through His Son, Jesus. We were all once wandering without love, without hope, without a Forever Family. Then, through Jesus, God adopts us, loves us, and gives us more than we could ever hope or imagine. He loves us when we make Him laugh. He loves us when we make Him proud. He loves us when we frustrate Him. He love us when we exasperate Him.
Most of all, He loves us for no other reason than the sake of our being, and that is a love that is undeserving, unfathomable, unchangeable.
It is a love that says,
"I'm your Forever Family!
I'm here to love you!
I'm all you'll ever need!"
