Participating in Halloween Activities

Leave it to God! As I'm writing this post, God has Addi inscribe this on our driveway!

Okay, I'm going to open a can of worms here.  Let me put out a few disclaimers:

 

*First and foremost, this is what I believe and why.  

*I'm not against anyone or judging anyone who believes in, celebrates, or participates in Halloween or its activities.  

*These are the "Stefi Thoughts" on why we do or don't do what we do. 

Many of you participate in Halloween. Many of you are appalled that I have chosen not to allow my children to engage in dressing up and going door to door to greet neighbors.  Many of you think that I have scarred them for life, left them out, or sheltered them from a fun activity.  Maybe you are right.  But in the end, I am their momma.  Hopefully, one day they will grow up, have children of their own and when their convictions pain them as much as this conviction pains me, I will have raised them to be strong women who can stand by their convictions and perhaps even write a blog about it. 

This entry was actually a note written to a friend of mine who asked me to comment on a blog/article she had read.  That blog can be found at:  http://blog.beliefnet.com/redletters/2010/10/why-christians-should-be-involved-in-halloween.html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter and I encourage you to read it.  It is well written and has a good thought.  The crux of the blog discusses why Christians should participate in Halloween. 

However, here are my thoughts.  Again they are "Stefi thoughts" and what I hope is that my thoughts encourage you to come up with your own thoughts.  

I have a lot of comments...not sure I can formulate them constructively. 

Celebrating Halloween creates such a discourse in my heart.  It creates such a feeling of anxiety and uneasiness.  Therefore, I choose not to engage in the activity and look forward to Nov. 1st.

I have heard the argument that is presented in the blog before.  While there is some truth to being welcoming, hospitable, and inviting to your neighbors, I'm not sure that these are the true reasons behind the night.  The truth behind the night stems from a celebration of the dead.  Since we worship the One who gives Life, why should we engage in the activity of the opposing force? 

If I set out to "be welcoming, inviting, and hospitable to my neighbors on this one night" under the pretenses of giving out candy to children, am I truly doing such?  I think perhaps that I in a way, I present a falseness or a hypocrisy.  Because while I may be coming across as friendly, I'm not truly being welcoming, inviting, or hospitable in the true sense of these words. I'm not looking to make, nor will I make a lifelong impression upon those coming to my door.  They are not looking for it either.  They are ringing the doorbell, looking for candy, and moving on to the next house in just under 15-20 seconds.   I'm then doing one of two things...1)I'm either conforming to a pattern of this world, or 2)I'm being a hypocrite.  Or maybe both at the same time.  Should I not be hospitable, welcoming, and inviting on all nights? 

It is not that I have a problem with greeting people at my door.  It is not that I have a problem with dressing up in cute, alter-ego costumes.  It is not that I have a problem contributing to the tooth decay and candy industry of America.  The problem I have stems from the fact that we do all of this on a day/time that honors the prince of darkness.  And it is done by the drones of people all across the nation and even in other countries. 

I just wonder what would happen if all the Bible believing/Bible practicing Christians decided not to participate.  What would happen if October 31st was acknowledged like Oct 30th, Nov.1st, or even Oct.12.  What would happen if a date was randomly chosen to celebrate the bounty of the harvest and we went door to door giving out, I don't know, ears of corn, pumpkins, potatoes, or apples?  Sure it is not as fun or economical as candy, but what if?  What if someone rang your doorbell on Nov. 1st and was holding an empty pillowcase?  Because of the tradition, we would laugh and say, "You're a day late!"  But in reality, should we not provide for the need that is standing on our porch? 

So then the argument comes up that people by the drones are not going to stand on your porch and ring the doorbell holding an empty pillowcase on any other night.  Okay, so why is it then acceptable to participate in the practice one night a year?  What greater good does it serve?  In the write-up it states that kids then associate the candy to "nice guy, gives good candy".  Yet, do we tell our kids, "You can go up to that door and ask the man for something and he will give it to you."  I don't regularly take my children around the neighborhood and point out houses that give out stuff.  Quite the contrary, I tell them to be watchful, alert, and on guard.  Be friendly, but don't talk to strangers.  (Yes, even that is a conflict of statements).  And I know the argument coming here is "It is safe if done in numbers on a night that everyone is participating and it is the norm."  But I come back to, why is it the norm?  Why is it okay? 

So, on October 31st, my porch light will be off and I will not be participating in the night's traditional candy-giving activities.  This begs the question to the night's participants, "why?"  It is answered by another question, "what would my house look like on all other nights of the year?"  It would most likely be dimly lit, maybe the t.v.on, one kid in the shower, one brushing her teeth getting ready to be tucked in for the night.  The porch light would be turned on around 8:30 or 9pm.  So if I decide to have lights on, is it okay then when people come down my long driveway for me to say, "I'm sorry. We don't participate in Halloween."  Or have the porch lights being left off become the symbol of  "Skip that house.  They don't participate!"?  Maybe it would be more truthful for me to say, "We don't participate," when my doorbell is rung.  But then, you have angry people that come to the conclusion that I made them "come all the way down your drive for nothing!!"  They wanted candy and instead receive the truth. 

This thought just popped into my head...maybe I should have a small slip of paper to hand out to those who do ring my doorbell that reads, "Because we worship the One who gives Life, we choose not to honor the one who is the prince of death. Join us Sunday as we worship the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Giver of Life!"  But then again....I'm participating!!

It is funny to me that so much attention is given to this day.  Easter does not receive this much attention and build up.  Nor does Columbus Day or Thanksgiving.  It is rivaled with Christmas on sales and promotions.  And yet why?  What is at the root of the celebration?  Death, darkness, greed (who gets the most/best candy), gluttony, coveting (costumes/candy), just to name a few. 

Yes, the argument has been presented, "well you did this as a kid and you are no worse for the wear."   This is true.  We did dress up, we did go door to door.  We did go to "Halloween Carnivals" sponsored by the PTO at our elementary school.  I did examine the good candy and threw out the bad.  It did all eventually get thrown out when around Easter, you realized the candy bowl still had candy in it from Halloween.  I did dress Ashlyn up as an apple her first Halloween and as a butterfly her second.  We did go to Fall Festivals at Church as "Alternative" sources.   But my argument here is that I didn't know any better.  I had not accepted Christ as my Giver of Light and Life. I did not know that His ways are higher.   Both of my children have accepted Him.  I am to model for them, His standard.  I am not to conform to this world or lead my children in the conformation.  I am to show them the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

Okay Tangent Alert!!!   Here's an argument I have with the church.  If Churches provide an "alternative" on the night of Oct. 31...they are STILL participating in the celebration of Halloween, death, and darkness!  The Church is to promote Life and Light!!!  Celebrate the Harvest on a different day or night!  (This is a whole other blog entry.  I'm glad we have a Harvest Fest, I just wish it were not done on Halloween Night!)

Ohhh this is such a heart-wrencher for me!!  It is this very wrenching that causes me grief and anxiety.  It is the very wrenching that leads me to not participate, to turn off the lights, to hull up in my house (no, we don't go out to dinner because ALL the waitstaff participates!), watch a movie or read a book, and pray in Nov 1st!!! 

Here's the over all peace I find in the argument.  Here's the peace that I rest in...FOR ME, once I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, there became a pit in my stomach against this celebration.  It is that feeling that causes me the above mentioned grief and anxiety.  It is the feeling that gives me a "you should not be doing this!" feeling that I simply can not shake.  It is the feeling that says, "I know what is best for you.  Follow me.  Do not be conformed to this world. My ways are NOT your ways," declares the LORD."  In the end, I don't have all of the answers to all of my questions.  I don't have all of the solutions to this particular issue.  I do have Jesus.  And for me, I will celebrate the Light!!

The Tooth Fairy

  
 
   Addi lost a tooth on Monday.  
   There is so much in that small sentence that needs to be explained.  First of all, losing a tooth to Addi is not a long drawn out process.  We don't have to go days or weeks with seeing a tooth flap in the wind.  There are not evidences of teeth twisting around on themselves on the mere fibers of gum tissues.  No, with Addi, she announces that she has a loose tooth one day and it is out of her head the next!  Quite literally, she pulls them from her gum...root and all!!  No tears, no whimpering. Just a matter of fact statement, "Hey mom, I lost my tooth! See!"  In the category of "Statements I Thought I Would Never Say" was this..."Addi, quit pulling your teeth out of your head!"  Yep! Those words flung from my mouth one night after she had pulled two of them within 30 minutes of each other!  Did I mention that it was a canine on one side and a molar on the other?
     Disgusting, I know!  Try living it!
     The Tooth Fairy is a man according to Addi.  She puts her teeth in a sandwich bag and leaves it for the Tooth Fairy.  He comes for the teeth so that he can build a castle.  In exchange for her tooth, he leaves 9 quarters and a pack of gum.  (The number of quarters coordinates with her age.)  According to Addi, the Tooth Fairy is an average size man, like daddy, and the only thing she can't figure out is how he gets his wings through the screen to lift the window.  Now why we have entertained the Tooth Fairy is beyond me.  She had lost teeth in China and had merely thrown them in the trash.  But here, we have brought about the notion of a man needing teeth to build a castle out of rotting (literally) bones and we reward such absurdity with money AND a pack of sugary substance that promotes more rotting teeth.  (Oh, and as a side note...the Tooth Fairy actually keeps the rotting teeth AND records the date they were lost on a 3x5 card.  Now there's absurdity!)

      So Monday, a canine...eye tooth, comes out with a 1/4 inch root. It goes in the bag, under the pillow.  Enter the dilemma....The Tooth Fairy failed!
      Early Tuesday morning, The Tooth Fairy has gone to work.  Addi awakes and announces herself.  She has forgotten momentarily, in her morning stupor, about the Tooth Fairy.  Suddenly, the Tooth Fairy's Assistant remembers the tooth. "Addi, why don't you feed the dog right now, first thing this morning!  She is REALLY hungry!" (All the while the Assistant is frantically gathering quarters and a pack of gum under a dome of silence and stealthness that only she can manage!)
     Did I mention that we are trying to learn obedience in our household?  It is on going.  Obedience is a virtue that Addi simply can not grasp.  She would rather be independent and obey herself.  After all, this concept worked for her for 6 years while she was waiting on us.  This particular morning, when it would be most beneficial to her, Addi has forgotten our numerous lessons.  Obedience and feeding the dog like mom has asked, just flew out the window with the prospect of money and gum.  And disappointment is on the heels of it all.
      "THE TOOTH FAIRY DIDN'T COME!!" This proclamation is followed by stomping and utter disgust shown through the slamming of bureau drawers.
     And my work in covert operations ceases.  "He didn't?" trying to sound surprised and sympathetic while not jumping up and shouting, "If you would have obeyed me and fed the dog, the Tooth Fairy's ASSISTANT would have come!"  
    "NO!!! He didn't! I've still got my tooth!," said from a little girl who has no idea how to build a castle out of rotting bones.
     Refraining and straining from shouting, "Maybe you should obey your mother and feed the dog!," I reply, "Maybe he got lost.  Maybe he didn't know you lost a tooth."
      "Are you kidding me?!?  I thought the Tooth Fairy knew EVERYTHING!!"


And then He hit me.  The Master was about to teach.  He humbled me and gave me the perfect response...


      "No honey.  That's God's job.  ONLY HE knows EVERYTHING!"

No response from Addi.  Just a sigh.  A resolve.  A peace.   Sure she has a bag of rotting bones and disappointment in her hand.  But she has Jesus and the knowledge that her God is BIG in her heart.


And so God taught the lesson.  He taught me patience and to keep my big mouth shut. He taught Addi omnipotence and sovereignty.  He taught us both obedience.  And HE reigns above the Tooth Fairy!!

Perpetual Students

     One of the reasons I have decided to write this blog is to archive life as we know and experience it here in our little corner of the world.  There are so many lessons we learn on a daily basis from each other and from ourselves.  We learn big lessons in a small way and small lessons in a big way.  Sometimes we like the lesson and hope that there are more to come just like it and sometimes we think the lesson is hard and hope that we don't have to take another field trip in order to experience the lesson in a different light.  Sometimes our lessons are "hands on" and as exciting as a science experiment...like blowing up a volcano in the kitchen! And sometimes our lessons seem boring and rote...like memorizing the capitals of the United States!! And then there are lessons that we just can't seem to "get".  We find ourselves stepping back up to the chalkboard to practice once again, wishing we could get it in our heads like a math fact, a part of speech, or the correct spelling of a word.  We wonder when we will learn the lesson well enough to take the test and pass!
   Many of the lessons are ones we must learn for ourselves without anyone helping us.  But most lessons, are ones we learn from each other.  It is funny how God teaches us.  I might be instructing one of my children on a particular subject or life lesson such as obedience, humility, or humbleness.  And all the while, He is sending ME back to the chalkboard to learn a lesson such as patience, self-sacrifice, or submission.  
     Many of the things you will read here are writings of such lessons.  Sometimes what you will read is about me, sometimes it will be about my children, sometimes it will be about my husband.  Most all of the time it will be about God and what He, as the Master, is teaching us. 
    So join us in the classroom!!  It is lively at times and reflective at others.  We study a lot and are tested A LOT!!  We strive for A's because as I tell my children..."You are able, capable, and have the potential to make an A!"  And I am sure that is EXACTLY what the Master says of us!  

We are perpetual students, learning from the Master, striving for A's, because we are able, capable, and have the potential!
 

Getting Started...Finally!!

     I keep procrastinating on getting started.  I had wanted to write something really deep and philosophical for my first post.  I wanted to write something about why I chose to title my blog "One Of These Days".  I wanted to write something that told you who I am and why I'm writing.  But then, "One Of These Days" became "One Of Those Days"!!

     So here I am.  I am finally writing my first post and it is none of the things I had wanted or hoped it would be.  There will be nothing philosophical or anything requiring deep thought or reflection.  I will get around to explaining why I chose the blog title I did in another post.  I will tell you more about me in a later writing.  For now, I just need to start writing.  
    
   And now I have.  

   Finally!!