Sixteen

Sixteen years ago, after 72 hours of labor, (yes, you read that correctly, 72 hours), the following statement was declared by a doctor:  "It's a GIRL!! Oh my goodness!! She looks like DAD!!"  And that was the beginning of many proud moments of this wonderful life of Ashlyn Michele Koonce!

It is hard to believe that sixteen years have passed so quickly.  I actually saved my calendar reading of December 14, 1994.  It read, "Life will sometimes hand you a magical moment. Savor it."  And that we have tried to do.  I have so many memories of a little blonde-headed, blue-eyed, sweet girl running about, always trying to please everyone. Ashlyn has been, by far, the most incredible child, now young woman, to raise.  Her even keeled temperament is refreshing for this high-strung momma.  Her contemplative thoughts run deep.  Her gracious and giving spirit often goes unnoticed because she wants absolutely no recognition to come her way.  Her gentle smile and listening ear brings a peace to those who know her. 

Many people have told us that we really were not parents.  Ashlyn has always been compliant, obedient, respectful, and full of grace.  She is the child that put herself in the "time out" chair and was completely remorseful and crying because she had disobeyed me. Her quiet nature always had me "checking" on her, only to find her curled up with a book or drawing in her sketch book.  Even today, this is how I find her, although in addition to her books and sketchbooks, she also chooses a book in the form of "Facebook" or she is on her phone texting away or sometimes she is doing all of these things while watching YouTube videos and listening to her iPod.  Ashlyn has that knack to succeed in most everything she tries.  This is mostly because of the attitude in which she approaches life.  She makes whole-hearted attempts at everything.  She puts her all into absolutely everything she does from every Chemistry and Math problem to all of her English compositions, from her piano and flute playing to her golf swing and her art sketches.  She puts forth her best.  She often runs herself ragged because her "best" often gets the "worst" of her!  It is not many parents that have to tell their children, "Let it be! Quit over-achieving!"

If I were not Ashlyn's mother, I would count it an honor to be one of her friends.  (We are great friends, but in a special mother-daughter relationship).  She is positive and uplifting.  She is one of those girls who you call when you have had a bad day and she will listen to you and offer an encouraging word that melts the cares of the world away.  I have been with her on the golf course when she is playing an opposing team.  She compliments the opponent on their shots, and after a round of golf, the opponent often speaks of their enjoyment of that particular game and the stress they did NOT feel all because Ashlyn was their opponent and they enjoyed playing with her because of her compliments and attitude.  Maybe this is not the best strategy on the golf course, but certainly it is a great strategy for life.  Ashlyn is an incredible listener and does not often talk much about herself or her troubles. (Which the "not talking" sometimes troubles this talkative momma!) However, when she does speak, her wisdom is great, full of conviction, and full of compassion.  

 Ashlyn also has an incredibly funny and very witty sense of humor.  She does not let it out much, but when she does, you find yourself rolling on the floor with tears streaming down your cheeks.  One time, this rather high-strung momma was having a moment of insanity.  I had been going about life in a very non-combative manner when I spotted something that I had distinctively remembered giving instructions about a previous 865 times!! It set me off and I started spewing instructions for the 866th time in a voice that was not calm, reflective, or at all nice.  Ashlyn waited for a pause and then said, very respectfully, "You are like a dang crow! You are fine, then all of a sudden, "CA-CAW!! CA-CAW!"  I looked at her then, burst into laughter!  She was absolutely right!! And now we have a joke and I sign all of my notes to her  ":>mom"

Ashlyn has had to endure quite a bit in her short 16 years of life.  She has lived in 5 states and 2 countries. She has endured her daddy being deployed 4 times and her house burning down. She has been in public school and has been home schooled.  She has been an only child for almost 13 years and then a big sister to her polar opposite for 3 years.  She knows we will move yet again in a mere 7 months.  And she knows that she has but a mere 2 years before she graduates (this, she is celebrating, a little too much right now, for this momma!)

Ashlyn is extremely conscientious about all things in her life.  She worries too much about grades and responsibilities (worrying...why did she have to inherit that gene from me?!?) Her grades are INCREDIBLE!! Her lowest grade is a 94 in Honors English, which she says, "Bums me out because it is my favorite class."  She has a 97 in Band, a 101 in Honors Chemistry and a 109 in Spanish!! Yes, those are her final grades for the subjects.  She is exempting out of all of her finals and this means she does not have to go to school the last two days of the semester!  She said, "There are benefits to "work before play!"  She has SAT vocabulary prep words delivered to her email...something she set up.  She is such a long range planner that she has already been looking at colleges and universities and she knows what she wants to study...Forensic Science.  

So, if it sounds as if I'm bragging, I am.  I think I have the right, I am one proud momma of a very beautiful, very wonderful, sixteen year old!!   Ashlyn has brought David and I so much joy and happiness.  She made us a momma and a daddy.  As I tell her all the time, "YOU make ME Special!"  And it is true, she made me a momma and that makes me special!  All because of her!  But really all because of God.  God knew that we would need Ashlyn.  He knew I would need her precious, sweet personality to calm this anxious, overbearing, worry wart momma.  He knew that David would need a little girl that would wrap him so tightly around her finger that he is having a hard time letting go.  God knew that the doctor would be absolutely correct in his statement of  "she looks like dad" because she looks like her daddy not only on the outside (except much prettier), but really from the inside and that being her incredible heart. 

God knew that He would give us this precious little girl because we were far from Him and through her, He would gently call us back to Himself.   We have so learned of the love of the Father because we have been given the incredible opportunity to be parents.  We had to learn more about Him in order to teach her.  We have experienced a well spring of love that caused us to look to Him to find the Source.  So in raising Ashlyn, we have learned about the love God has for each one of us that He showed when He gave us Jesus.  And in turn we showed her Jesus and Ashlyn, in turn loves Him with all of her heart.  Amazing the love the Father has showered upon us!

Amazing the opportunity to parent a child, now a young woman, for a mere 16 years!  How blessed we are!  Happy Birthday, sweet, sweet, baby girl, Ashlyn!  You are the Apple of His eye and the joy of my heart!  YMMS!! IU!! :>mom

GOTCHA!

  
    Three years ago on November 9, a family of three packed their bags and flew 26 hours to the other side of the world to meet family member number 4, thus completing their family.  It is hard to believe all that has happened in three very short, sometimes very long years.  "Gotcha Day" is officially November 12, the day Addilyn Grace WenZhi bounded into our lives.  This is the day that we became a Forever Family.  Addi says that her Gotcha Day is WAY more important to her than her birthday (which happens to be December 28, 2000).  She says, and with her typical Addi-tude, "After all, Gotcha Day was the day I was "birthed" (air quotes included) into my family!"  She became an American citizen on November 21st and we began our journey home on November 22.  Her little feet touched American soil first in Detroit, Michigan then in Springfield, Missouri on November 23...Thanksgiving Day!  So much to be thankful for....then and now!

Addi sees life and extracts everything possible from it, sometimes to the point of exasperation of those around her.  We have never laughed so much in our entire lives.  She is witty and inquisitive.  She is "scary smart" as her Grande' calls her and she is an incredible book worm like her Po-Po.  She can be sweet as honey one minute and madder than a hornet the next, and you are never quite sure what makes her turn on that dime of emotion.  The biggest blessing that Addi has brought us is joy unspeakable.  She exudes it from every pore of her little body and she demands it from every moment that she lives.   We are quite sure she will rise to the occasion of her life...she already has success in this area!  Her future looks promising.  We are quite sure that she will be a Supreme Court Justice because her skill in closing arguments continues to exhaust and astound us.  Of course, Addi has her sights set much higher, and that being on the stars.  She wants to be an astronaut..."I want to see Earth from God's point of view!" This being said, her heart is full of Jesus.  She accepted the LORD as her Savior a mere 11 months to the day of coming home.  And the LORD is going to use her in a mighty way.  He already has so many times in our lives.  However, she also wants to travel back to China to tell her teachers and her Nai-Nai (foster grandmother) about Jesus.  "Mom, they don't know Jesus!!  They don't get that Buddah is dead and Jesus is Alive!  Someone needs to tell them!  Why not me!?!"   Simple faith, incredible love.

Addi has forever changed our lives.  She has brought many challenges and lessons, but she has also brought much joy and many blessings.  She has added a dimension and dynamic to our family that we never knew could exist. I personally, now have a lot more gray hair.  This child has literally given me a run for my money!!  However, Addi has also evoked in me the need to be absolutely silly and have more fun in public places by singing show tunes at the top of my lungs...something that has Ashlyn disowning me in pure mortification.  David now has two girls that wrap him around their little fingers.  Both make him one proud papa, but they do it in entirely different ways.  Ashlyn with her quiet, gentle spirit and Addi with her zeal for life that evokes the crazies in a person (hence the above mentioned show tunes...yes, she has David singing them too!) 

As for Ashlyn, Addi has made her a sister in every sense of the word.  They are either huggin' each others necks or they are at each others throats!  My Addi's quest for knowledge, attention, and life in general is often a bit much for my reserved, quiet, thinker Ashlyn.  I tell everyone that the two of them will make a great traveling side show...Ashlyn can hoist the curtain and Addi is THE SHOW!!  I am truly, one balanced momma!

 

  We have been asked MANY times about our decision to adopt Addi. "What were you thinking?" is a question we get asked frequently and quite frankly, we have even asked it of ourselves in moments of frustration.  God in his Infinite Wisdom one day gave David the perfect answer to that question.  "We were NOT thinking.  We were OBEYING!"  I wonder sometimes if God does not ask Himself the same question when He looks at us.  Do you think He looks at Jesus and the Spirit and says, "What were WE thinking?"   Do you think He looks at Jesus knowing the price He paid and asks of us, "What are YOU thinking?"   I think not.  God's ways are Higher.  

     Through adopting Addi, through the love we have for her, through the love she has given to us, we have all learned a most important lesson.  God has shown us through this earthly adoption of Addilyn that He has given us a perfect example of His plan for us all to be adopted into His Forever Family through His Son, Jesus.  We were all once wandering without love, without hope, without a Forever Family.  Then, through Jesus, God adopts us, loves us, and gives us more than we could ever hope or imagine.  He loves us when we make Him laugh. He loves us when we make Him proud. He loves us when we frustrate Him.  He love us when we exasperate Him. Most of all, He loves us for no other reason than the sake of our being, and that is a love that is undeserving, unfathomable, unchangeable.  It is a love that says, "I'm your Forever Family! I'm here to love you! I'm all you'll ever need!"  "Gotcha!"

Perspective

Throughout different seasons of my life, the LORD will bless me with a particular word that He wants me to fully "get" or comprehend.  Often times, these words present themselves over and over again in my life through circumstances, council, and conversations.  The words become concepts but, eventually, if I allow the LORD to have His way with me, they become convictions.  

Many times, these words come to me and I am offended.  After all, who wants to hear words such as "Submission", "Obedience", or "Brokenness" over and over again!?!  Furthermore, who wants to have these words played out in daily occurances, casual conversations, or simple coincidences?!  But that is how the LORD is with me.  I am hard-headed and He is gracious.   He knows I need repetition, the remedial course, and many, many field trips in order to ultimately learn that His Ways are Higher.  So graciously, He repeats Himself (okay, He repeats Himself over and over again!) until the word sinks into the marrow of my being.  Such is the latest word He has given me ~ Perspective.

This concept of  "perspective" has been making itself known ever so slowly for about 15 months now.  (I told you I was hard-headed and a slow learner).  For many of you, you can figure the math and know that a move to Georgia occurred about 15 months ago.  Of course, when God first introduced this concept of perspective to me, I only wanted the concept of perspective to include staying in Missouri.  I did not want the perspective of moving to Georgia.  I was offended that He would even think of moving me out of my comfort zone.  I fought His perspective on every front.  The battle ensued.  Kicking, screaming, fit throwing, and tantrums at the feet of Jesus occurred all in the name of my perspective.  Yet God persisted, ever so lovingly, to continue to show me His perspective.

It has been stated that there are approximately seven different learning styles.  If my memory serves me correctly from my college years, these learning styles include Audible, Kinesthetic, Intra-personal, Inter-personal, Musical, Visual, and Spatial.  Most people have a dominant style of learning.  Not this hard-headed individual!!!  When I am really needing to be taught something, ALL the learning styles are incorporated!!  God leaves no learning style left behind!  Nope, for me He utilizes them all!!  He has intricately woven the word "perspective" into Sunday School lessons and daily devotional readings.  There have been songs on the radio about gaining a different perspective.  The concept has been sprinkled into conversations with friends and sermons from my pastor.  (My moving kinesthetically...now there is a whole other perspective that not many need to see!)  And just recently, God mixed the idea into a moment that I had with my David and the girls and He allowed us all an opportunity to gain perspective both visually and "spatially".

Over the weekend, we learned of an event that was taking place at Providence Canyon State Park.  The park is about an hour and a half from our house.  We left about 7:00pm...our goal...a night with the stars!!  The Astronomy Department at Columbus State University was hosting a "star gazing event".  They brought out five 10-inch telescopes and one 14-inch telescope for the public to enjoy.  These were HUGE scopes!!  The Astronomy students would locate a constellation and then announce their findings and the general public in attendance would be able to view the stars through the various scopes.  Now it might need to be said here that God orchestrated an incredible night.  It was a new moon (so, no moon in the sky), the sky was void of clouds, and the air was crisp.  Okay, it was cold...37 degrees...but we were blessed with layers of coats, gloves, and hats.  Ashlyn was freezing and Addi was ready to leave her coat in the car.  God met us in the parking lot as we got out of the car and looked up.  We were an hour or so away from city lights.  The park was pitch black which made the stars look as if they were supernaturally closer than normal.  We could actually see depths, dimensions, and layers of stars.  We viewed a dying star that looked like a blue doughnut.  We saw another mass that appeared to be a dumbbell in shape. We saw the Seven Sisters, Pleiades, which was not a mere seven stars, but hundreds of stars making themselves known through the scope.  We saw Jupiter and three of her moons.  We saw "the eye of the bull", Taurus, which was a red star.  All in all, it looked as if we were viewing diamonds on black velvet.  We removed ourselves from the city and momentarily gazed towards the heavens for a different view.

Jupiter and her moons

As we were leaving our visual and "spatial" field trip, we were listening to the girls talk.  They commented on the vast number of stars that they normally see in our backyard and the "gazillions" they saw at the state park.  Comments like "I never knew there were so many!" and "They are so pretty to be just masses of gas!" filtered forward from the backseat.  And then that word "perspective" made its way into the conversation.  Ashlyn mentioned what we...not only people, but planet Earth, must look like from God's Perspective.  Addi stated how big and important we sometimes think we are, but how small we must appear from space.  And yet God knows the very numbers of hair on our heads, just like he knows the sheer number of stars in the heavens.  David brought up the impending move, how it will affect us and effect us, and how developing a different perspective might be helpful.  How sometimes God in His vast knowledge of the heavens sees fit to move us from one place to another so that we might gain insight and perspective into our lives and upon Kingdom ways of thinking.  We talked about how thanks to God, we are moved from one place to another, sometimes unwillingly, but always for our best interest.  Ashlyn interjected that she was NOT going to like moving and that she wished we could just stay in Georgia.  I told her I understood and that I didn't like moving from Missouri or leaving my comfort zone.  However, God may need us to move not only because He needs us to do some Kingdom work in another location, but because He knows what is in our best interest.   I reminded her of the verse in Isaiah 55:8 "My ways are not your ways," declares the LORD.  (I always have to shout the "declares" part!) 

Pleiades, the Seven Sisters

It was here I realized that the concept had become a conviction.  I was teaching my daughters the very thing that God had been trying to teach me.  I realized that taking on God's Perspective is far greater than trying to learn from my own perspective.  On a heavenly, star filled night, I was reminded of my finite thinking and God's infinite ways.  He set the stars in the sky and He knows them by name!  Through His persistence, He inundates me until I am awestruck.  I am simple and thickheaded, yet so loved by God, that I can do nothing but stand in His presence in complete amazement, gratitude, and humbleness. 

And gently, ever so gently, He repeatedly shows me His perspective.

Mud Puddles and White Tires

Okay, I have to say that sinning is something I do everyday.  I'm not proud of it.  It annoys me that I do it, both the subconscious sinning and the conscious sinning.  It annoys and saddens me that I let my Jesus down.  It annoys me that I fail Him and I fail myself.  I take no pride in the sin.  I take no pride in the Grace I receive unmeritously and unmercifully each and every time I repent of each sin that I have committed.   In fact, I stand in amazement that my Jesus forgives me each and every time I run to Him and confess my sins.  

So today, sin met me face to face and it flung from my lips at lightening speed.  So quick it happened, that I myself could not believe the rapidity from which it came!  

Addi learned a WHOLE lot today at Koonce Elementary.  She learned about Haiku and wrote about 5 of them on her own.  She learned about common factors and found commonalities of several numbers.  She learned the difference between "numerical" and "new miracle" (I had never really "heard" the difference before, but had to clear up to her that we were finding numbers, not wonders and amazements performed by Jesus.)  We went on a "field trip" to hear The African Children's Choir with friends where Addi learned about the death, disease, and despair that is plaguing the continent of Africa. And we learned a lesson about lying.  

Addi rode her bike through a mud puddle today.  Not surprising.  Not a big deal.  The big deal happened when she lied about it.  And she lied about it to her big sister. 

Addi meets Ashlyn at the bus stop every day.  It is her absolute FAVORITE time of the day!! It is like she is getting a present every time Ashlyn comes home! (I so wish Ashlyn could see it that way!)  Today, on the way to the bus stop, a mud puddle beckoned.  And Addi could not resist.  Again, not a big deal.  However, Ashlyn, being Ashlyn, and NEVER thinking of riding her bike through a mud puddle, questions the fun-loving adventurous one..."Hey Addi, why are your wheels covered in mud?"

Now, not wanting to be questioned by the one she looks up to, and quite possibly not believing that her straight-forward, straight-arrow, type-A, OCD big sister would think of NOT riding her bike through a big mud puddle, Addi answers with a lie,  "I DON'T KNOW!"    

( Of course she knows....It's a mud puddle...YOU RIDE THROUGH IT FOR THE MERE FUN OF IT!!!)

The big sister informer returns to the house with happy-go-lucky, mud-loving, little sister and proceeds to proclaim that she needs to "chat" with me about an issue.  Addi removes herself from the room, probably because she knows that tattling on her is about to ensue.  Ashlyn states that Addi tried to "cover" the "I Don't Know"  lie with a quick, "I want you to guess!" lie.  Ashlyn had tried to explain to Addi that there is a difference and she should not lie.  

I go out to the survey the tires.  I find that there really is not very much mud.  It just a little bit.  But there is a bigger issue behind that little bit of mud.  Addi joins me in the garage.  "Yea, about the tires..." she proceeds.  

I respond, "Yes." 

"Well, there was this mud puddle..."  

I say, "Did you lie?"  

Head cocks backward on the accused and again she claims, "I wanted her to guess!" 

At this point I should have prayed, "Lord, please make my words as sweet as honey, for I might soon have to eat them!"  

But I didn't.  Instead I said, "Addi, you are part of our family.  This family does not lie!  If you ride your bike through a mud puddle, say proudly, "I rode my bike through a mud puddle" when someone asks you why you have mud on your tires!  Do you understand?  We don't practice lying. God does not like lying. We don't lie in our family!"

Now here's where the rubber meets the road, the heart meets the mouth, the truth meets the life I live, and God gives me a chance to put my words into action. 

Not 5 minutes later, a loud knock at the garage door occurs.  It startles me, the children, and the dog starts barking ferociously.  I have Ashlyn hold the dog as I cautiously open the door, and walk outside, by myself, to hear a man saying, "Your dog is not going to bite me, is he?"

LIE #1 flings from my mouth..."SHE might!"  (A lie because Katy would soon lick you to death as bite a complete stranger!)

The man is from Shoeleather Steak Company and he has just visited my neighbors and has a wonderful sale going on and a few bargains that he has left in his truck just for me.  He asks me,  "Do you eat steak?!?!"

And before I know it LIE #2 is flinging from my lips....

"No! We are vegetarians!!"

To which Shoeleather Steak man says, "Okay, ma'am. Well, God Bless!"

I walked back into the house to find Ashlyn wide-eyed and still holding the dog.  I look at her and say,  "I have just sinned!! I need to repent! We own a flesh-eating dog and we are now vegetarians!" To this she replies, "Mom, how could you!?!  After what you just said to Addi!"  

I said, "I DON'T KNOW!!"

The truth is we do know.  We sin to get out of things, to save our necks, to not be bothered.  We sin because we think it is easier, quicker, and better than telling the truth.  We sin because we like the mud puddles and the way the mud feels under our tires, even if it is just a little bit and not very much mud at all.  My telling the Steakman that we are vegetarians was no different than Addi telling Ashlyn "I don't know!"  I did not want to take any time with the Steakman, to hear about his sales or the leanness and superior quality of his corn-fed cattle, or to be bothered by him.  Addi did not want to hear a lecture about the chemical compound of mud and its effects on tires, or about her choice in off-road transportation, or to be bothered by a big sister.  Both of us sinned and both of us learned a lesson in lying. 

I'm not proud that I have to learn lessons this way.  I do not like confessing my sins to my Jesus or my children.  Hopefully, they will learn from my mistakes and from my sins.  Hopefully, and more importantly, I pray that they will see, that when I ride my bike through the mud puddles of life, I keep on riding. I pedal as fast as I can, right up to my Jesus, confess my sin, and ask for His forgiveness. 

And thankfully, graciously, and most lovingly He sprays me off and gives me brand new white tires!! 

Participating in Halloween Activities

Leave it to God! As I'm writing this post, God has Addi inscribe this on our driveway!

Okay, I'm going to open a can of worms here.  Let me put out a few disclaimers:

 

*First and foremost, this is what I believe and why.  

*I'm not against anyone or judging anyone who believes in, celebrates, or participates in Halloween or its activities.  

*These are the "Stefi Thoughts" on why we do or don't do what we do. 

Many of you participate in Halloween. Many of you are appalled that I have chosen not to allow my children to engage in dressing up and going door to door to greet neighbors.  Many of you think that I have scarred them for life, left them out, or sheltered them from a fun activity.  Maybe you are right.  But in the end, I am their momma.  Hopefully, one day they will grow up, have children of their own and when their convictions pain them as much as this conviction pains me, I will have raised them to be strong women who can stand by their convictions and perhaps even write a blog about it. 

This entry was actually a note written to a friend of mine who asked me to comment on a blog/article she had read.  That blog can be found at:  http://blog.beliefnet.com/redletters/2010/10/why-christians-should-be-involved-in-halloween.html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter and I encourage you to read it.  It is well written and has a good thought.  The crux of the blog discusses why Christians should participate in Halloween. 

However, here are my thoughts.  Again they are "Stefi thoughts" and what I hope is that my thoughts encourage you to come up with your own thoughts.  

I have a lot of comments...not sure I can formulate them constructively. 

Celebrating Halloween creates such a discourse in my heart.  It creates such a feeling of anxiety and uneasiness.  Therefore, I choose not to engage in the activity and look forward to Nov. 1st.

I have heard the argument that is presented in the blog before.  While there is some truth to being welcoming, hospitable, and inviting to your neighbors, I'm not sure that these are the true reasons behind the night.  The truth behind the night stems from a celebration of the dead.  Since we worship the One who gives Life, why should we engage in the activity of the opposing force? 

If I set out to "be welcoming, inviting, and hospitable to my neighbors on this one night" under the pretenses of giving out candy to children, am I truly doing such?  I think perhaps that I in a way, I present a falseness or a hypocrisy.  Because while I may be coming across as friendly, I'm not truly being welcoming, inviting, or hospitable in the true sense of these words. I'm not looking to make, nor will I make a lifelong impression upon those coming to my door.  They are not looking for it either.  They are ringing the doorbell, looking for candy, and moving on to the next house in just under 15-20 seconds.   I'm then doing one of two things...1)I'm either conforming to a pattern of this world, or 2)I'm being a hypocrite.  Or maybe both at the same time.  Should I not be hospitable, welcoming, and inviting on all nights? 

It is not that I have a problem with greeting people at my door.  It is not that I have a problem with dressing up in cute, alter-ego costumes.  It is not that I have a problem contributing to the tooth decay and candy industry of America.  The problem I have stems from the fact that we do all of this on a day/time that honors the prince of darkness.  And it is done by the drones of people all across the nation and even in other countries. 

I just wonder what would happen if all the Bible believing/Bible practicing Christians decided not to participate.  What would happen if October 31st was acknowledged like Oct 30th, Nov.1st, or even Oct.12.  What would happen if a date was randomly chosen to celebrate the bounty of the harvest and we went door to door giving out, I don't know, ears of corn, pumpkins, potatoes, or apples?  Sure it is not as fun or economical as candy, but what if?  What if someone rang your doorbell on Nov. 1st and was holding an empty pillowcase?  Because of the tradition, we would laugh and say, "You're a day late!"  But in reality, should we not provide for the need that is standing on our porch? 

So then the argument comes up that people by the drones are not going to stand on your porch and ring the doorbell holding an empty pillowcase on any other night.  Okay, so why is it then acceptable to participate in the practice one night a year?  What greater good does it serve?  In the write-up it states that kids then associate the candy to "nice guy, gives good candy".  Yet, do we tell our kids, "You can go up to that door and ask the man for something and he will give it to you."  I don't regularly take my children around the neighborhood and point out houses that give out stuff.  Quite the contrary, I tell them to be watchful, alert, and on guard.  Be friendly, but don't talk to strangers.  (Yes, even that is a conflict of statements).  And I know the argument coming here is "It is safe if done in numbers on a night that everyone is participating and it is the norm."  But I come back to, why is it the norm?  Why is it okay? 

So, on October 31st, my porch light will be off and I will not be participating in the night's traditional candy-giving activities.  This begs the question to the night's participants, "why?"  It is answered by another question, "what would my house look like on all other nights of the year?"  It would most likely be dimly lit, maybe the t.v.on, one kid in the shower, one brushing her teeth getting ready to be tucked in for the night.  The porch light would be turned on around 8:30 or 9pm.  So if I decide to have lights on, is it okay then when people come down my long driveway for me to say, "I'm sorry. We don't participate in Halloween."  Or have the porch lights being left off become the symbol of  "Skip that house.  They don't participate!"?  Maybe it would be more truthful for me to say, "We don't participate," when my doorbell is rung.  But then, you have angry people that come to the conclusion that I made them "come all the way down your drive for nothing!!"  They wanted candy and instead receive the truth. 

This thought just popped into my head...maybe I should have a small slip of paper to hand out to those who do ring my doorbell that reads, "Because we worship the One who gives Life, we choose not to honor the one who is the prince of death. Join us Sunday as we worship the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Giver of Life!"  But then again....I'm participating!!

It is funny to me that so much attention is given to this day.  Easter does not receive this much attention and build up.  Nor does Columbus Day or Thanksgiving.  It is rivaled with Christmas on sales and promotions.  And yet why?  What is at the root of the celebration?  Death, darkness, greed (who gets the most/best candy), gluttony, coveting (costumes/candy), just to name a few. 

Yes, the argument has been presented, "well you did this as a kid and you are no worse for the wear."   This is true.  We did dress up, we did go door to door.  We did go to "Halloween Carnivals" sponsored by the PTO at our elementary school.  I did examine the good candy and threw out the bad.  It did all eventually get thrown out when around Easter, you realized the candy bowl still had candy in it from Halloween.  I did dress Ashlyn up as an apple her first Halloween and as a butterfly her second.  We did go to Fall Festivals at Church as "Alternative" sources.   But my argument here is that I didn't know any better.  I had not accepted Christ as my Giver of Light and Life. I did not know that His ways are higher.   Both of my children have accepted Him.  I am to model for them, His standard.  I am not to conform to this world or lead my children in the conformation.  I am to show them the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

Okay Tangent Alert!!!   Here's an argument I have with the church.  If Churches provide an "alternative" on the night of Oct. 31...they are STILL participating in the celebration of Halloween, death, and darkness!  The Church is to promote Life and Light!!!  Celebrate the Harvest on a different day or night!  (This is a whole other blog entry.  I'm glad we have a Harvest Fest, I just wish it were not done on Halloween Night!)

Ohhh this is such a heart-wrencher for me!!  It is this very wrenching that causes me grief and anxiety.  It is the very wrenching that leads me to not participate, to turn off the lights, to hull up in my house (no, we don't go out to dinner because ALL the waitstaff participates!), watch a movie or read a book, and pray in Nov 1st!!! 

Here's the over all peace I find in the argument.  Here's the peace that I rest in...FOR ME, once I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, there became a pit in my stomach against this celebration.  It is that feeling that causes me the above mentioned grief and anxiety.  It is the feeling that gives me a "you should not be doing this!" feeling that I simply can not shake.  It is the feeling that says, "I know what is best for you.  Follow me.  Do not be conformed to this world. My ways are NOT your ways," declares the LORD."  In the end, I don't have all of the answers to all of my questions.  I don't have all of the solutions to this particular issue.  I do have Jesus.  And for me, I will celebrate the Light!!

The Tooth Fairy

  
 
   Addi lost a tooth on Monday.  
   There is so much in that small sentence that needs to be explained.  First of all, losing a tooth to Addi is not a long drawn out process.  We don't have to go days or weeks with seeing a tooth flap in the wind.  There are not evidences of teeth twisting around on themselves on the mere fibers of gum tissues.  No, with Addi, she announces that she has a loose tooth one day and it is out of her head the next!  Quite literally, she pulls them from her gum...root and all!!  No tears, no whimpering. Just a matter of fact statement, "Hey mom, I lost my tooth! See!"  In the category of "Statements I Thought I Would Never Say" was this..."Addi, quit pulling your teeth out of your head!"  Yep! Those words flung from my mouth one night after she had pulled two of them within 30 minutes of each other!  Did I mention that it was a canine on one side and a molar on the other?
     Disgusting, I know!  Try living it!
     The Tooth Fairy is a man according to Addi.  She puts her teeth in a sandwich bag and leaves it for the Tooth Fairy.  He comes for the teeth so that he can build a castle.  In exchange for her tooth, he leaves 9 quarters and a pack of gum.  (The number of quarters coordinates with her age.)  According to Addi, the Tooth Fairy is an average size man, like daddy, and the only thing she can't figure out is how he gets his wings through the screen to lift the window.  Now why we have entertained the Tooth Fairy is beyond me.  She had lost teeth in China and had merely thrown them in the trash.  But here, we have brought about the notion of a man needing teeth to build a castle out of rotting (literally) bones and we reward such absurdity with money AND a pack of sugary substance that promotes more rotting teeth.  (Oh, and as a side note...the Tooth Fairy actually keeps the rotting teeth AND records the date they were lost on a 3x5 card.  Now there's absurdity!)

      So Monday, a canine...eye tooth, comes out with a 1/4 inch root. It goes in the bag, under the pillow.  Enter the dilemma....The Tooth Fairy failed!
      Early Tuesday morning, The Tooth Fairy has gone to work.  Addi awakes and announces herself.  She has forgotten momentarily, in her morning stupor, about the Tooth Fairy.  Suddenly, the Tooth Fairy's Assistant remembers the tooth. "Addi, why don't you feed the dog right now, first thing this morning!  She is REALLY hungry!" (All the while the Assistant is frantically gathering quarters and a pack of gum under a dome of silence and stealthness that only she can manage!)
     Did I mention that we are trying to learn obedience in our household?  It is on going.  Obedience is a virtue that Addi simply can not grasp.  She would rather be independent and obey herself.  After all, this concept worked for her for 6 years while she was waiting on us.  This particular morning, when it would be most beneficial to her, Addi has forgotten our numerous lessons.  Obedience and feeding the dog like mom has asked, just flew out the window with the prospect of money and gum.  And disappointment is on the heels of it all.
      "THE TOOTH FAIRY DIDN'T COME!!" This proclamation is followed by stomping and utter disgust shown through the slamming of bureau drawers.
     And my work in covert operations ceases.  "He didn't?" trying to sound surprised and sympathetic while not jumping up and shouting, "If you would have obeyed me and fed the dog, the Tooth Fairy's ASSISTANT would have come!"  
    "NO!!! He didn't! I've still got my tooth!," said from a little girl who has no idea how to build a castle out of rotting bones.
     Refraining and straining from shouting, "Maybe you should obey your mother and feed the dog!," I reply, "Maybe he got lost.  Maybe he didn't know you lost a tooth."
      "Are you kidding me?!?  I thought the Tooth Fairy knew EVERYTHING!!"


And then He hit me.  The Master was about to teach.  He humbled me and gave me the perfect response...


      "No honey.  That's God's job.  ONLY HE knows EVERYTHING!"

No response from Addi.  Just a sigh.  A resolve.  A peace.   Sure she has a bag of rotting bones and disappointment in her hand.  But she has Jesus and the knowledge that her God is BIG in her heart.


And so God taught the lesson.  He taught me patience and to keep my big mouth shut. He taught Addi omnipotence and sovereignty.  He taught us both obedience.  And HE reigns above the Tooth Fairy!!

Perpetual Students

     One of the reasons I have decided to write this blog is to archive life as we know and experience it here in our little corner of the world.  There are so many lessons we learn on a daily basis from each other and from ourselves.  We learn big lessons in a small way and small lessons in a big way.  Sometimes we like the lesson and hope that there are more to come just like it and sometimes we think the lesson is hard and hope that we don't have to take another field trip in order to experience the lesson in a different light.  Sometimes our lessons are "hands on" and as exciting as a science experiment...like blowing up a volcano in the kitchen! And sometimes our lessons seem boring and rote...like memorizing the capitals of the United States!! And then there are lessons that we just can't seem to "get".  We find ourselves stepping back up to the chalkboard to practice once again, wishing we could get it in our heads like a math fact, a part of speech, or the correct spelling of a word.  We wonder when we will learn the lesson well enough to take the test and pass!
   Many of the lessons are ones we must learn for ourselves without anyone helping us.  But most lessons, are ones we learn from each other.  It is funny how God teaches us.  I might be instructing one of my children on a particular subject or life lesson such as obedience, humility, or humbleness.  And all the while, He is sending ME back to the chalkboard to learn a lesson such as patience, self-sacrifice, or submission.  
     Many of the things you will read here are writings of such lessons.  Sometimes what you will read is about me, sometimes it will be about my children, sometimes it will be about my husband.  Most all of the time it will be about God and what He, as the Master, is teaching us. 
    So join us in the classroom!!  It is lively at times and reflective at others.  We study a lot and are tested A LOT!!  We strive for A's because as I tell my children..."You are able, capable, and have the potential to make an A!"  And I am sure that is EXACTLY what the Master says of us!  

We are perpetual students, learning from the Master, striving for A's, because we are able, capable, and have the potential!
 

Getting Started...Finally!!

     I keep procrastinating on getting started.  I had wanted to write something really deep and philosophical for my first post.  I wanted to write something about why I chose to title my blog "One Of These Days".  I wanted to write something that told you who I am and why I'm writing.  But then, "One Of These Days" became "One Of Those Days"!!

     So here I am.  I am finally writing my first post and it is none of the things I had wanted or hoped it would be.  There will be nothing philosophical or anything requiring deep thought or reflection.  I will get around to explaining why I chose the blog title I did in another post.  I will tell you more about me in a later writing.  For now, I just need to start writing.  
    
   And now I have.  

   Finally!!